I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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