end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
