At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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