Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
