I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
