What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
