It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
