you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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