Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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