I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
