Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
