i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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