I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
