Me too!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
