are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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