its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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