If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
