worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
