hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm both gender and math confused
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
