I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
