don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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