I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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