singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My feet surprised me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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