At least make sure they are 18
Why
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
