my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
