hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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