bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
