That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
