You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am available for nakedness
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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