I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
