rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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