I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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