He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
