I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize