I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
