I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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