you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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