I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
