and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
