East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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