He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
