I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
