woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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