Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
