Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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