I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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