Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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