P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize