then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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