is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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