my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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