He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
