After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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