She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
