omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
