we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
