I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
