This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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