and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We just shotgunned beers for America
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
