at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
