is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
