i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
