i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Randomize
