I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
