after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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